At approximately 1:30pm central time, campus police arrested Bill Callahan, Kevin Cosgrove, Corey McKeon and others suspects on charges of kidnapping the entire 2008 Nebraska football team and coaching staff; including Head Coach Bo Pelini. Authorities state the suspects were involved in a high end Governmental conspiracy that was put in place by several groups such as: the CIA, the Taliban, and Sarah Palin (R) - Alaska to try and disrupt a possible title run by the 2008 Huskers.
According to Campus Police Chief Dave Thompson, Palin, the alleged Mastermind, determined that by having Nebraska make a title run, it would stimulate the economy and bring back positive memories of the Clinton era, which, in turn, would cause people to question the information and affirmation of fearing terrorism, death, and mayhem that has been regularly reported by Fox News.
After being rescued by police, Pelini and the team adorned their gear and finished out the game in dramatic fashion by racking up 21 straight points in 8 minutes of play and making a really unrespectable performance, just a moderately unrespectable performance.
Joe Ganz (or Sam Keller depending on the time of the game) was 17 of 25 for 216 yards and 1 interception. Marlon Lucky, who has been rated the 5th best Running Back in this year’s class, showed off his talents by rushing for 25 yards on 7 carries, surely the Scouts are impressed and opposing teams are game-planning around this formidable force, otherwise known as “Lawrence Phillips: The Duce.”
Nebraska’s Offensive Line tried their best … to lose the game and get Ganz hurt … but to no avail. Once the real O-line got in the game, the protection got better; sort of, but not really.
I’d personally like to thank the University of Nebraska Campus Police Department for finding, recovering and encouraging the 2008 Nebraska Football team to show up and compete after the kidnapping. This victory is for you boys; your jaywalking tickets truly protect us all!
::Ghram Ferdinand::
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