Dear Missouri Fans,
Yes we know...your 36 month football dynasty is now shattered. After beating you every game between 1979 to 2002 and then losing to you 3 times in row (mainly due to a terrible coach with a non-stop mouth tick), we can sympathize.
A few tips to help you get over the loss...
1) Hang out with some KU fans. Their football dynasty is slightly comparable, however, their fans are much more annoying.
*Be careful not to be carrying any beef jerky with you if you come into close contact with their coach.
2) Take the "Z"s out of your state nickname. Nobody gets it. Mizzu? Mizzoo? Mizz-stake.
3) Change your mascot. It can be an uplifting activity for everyone in Mizzouri....or Mizzourah?
*Recommendation: A bumble-bee would be a great fit with your current color-scheme.
These are just a few things to help you put your mind at ease for the time being. Don't worry though, you'll be back on top lickity-split. I'm sure we are just a few weeks out from you being able to say "Let's play basketball," and that should really take the edge off for you.
If you need anything else let us know. We'll be eating Runza and re-watching clips of your players crying on the sidelines at the end of the game.
(They we're probably happy tears).
Much Luv,
Herbie Husker
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